Silence for Manchester

What prompts these mentally deranged lunatics to target innocents?!  Yesterday there was a bombing at the Manchester Arena which has done exactly as it intended to do:  cause panic and chaos.  The target of this particular traumatic event was an area filled with teenagers and their parents.  The outrage is high, as it should be, even for those without parents.  What possible infraction to your cause did these people do?  What effrontery could they have possibly created with their very existence?  And what was going through your pathetic mind when you decided that this would be the perfect way to get your vague and obscure message across, you sad and sorry individual with a bomb?

All that you are is a coward, and the lowest of the lot.  It’s been said that the bomber himself died in the explosion, and good riddance.  Good riddance to anyone who purports this method of institutionalized terror upon innocents.  You want to have your war, you want to have your cause?  Then go about it with some degree of human fashion, otherwise you’re nothing more than a base degenerate.  I wouldn’t even call this person and animal because animals treat each other better than the human race does.

Was this person in the sights of the government agencies?  Did this person ping some sort of alert?  Why wasn’t there any qualified people to search the venue?  Nor give a once over to the participants of this doomed event?  In this day how could these venues not take the necessary precautions for something like this?  Is this an indication that once more the human race has become complacent and lax?  It’s only after incidents like this that the government agencies move into action.  Perhaps it’s because the agencies need the evidence tying it all together so they have to wait for 22 people (or more) to get blown to smithereens before they can go knocking down doors and preventing another disaster of this type.

Massacres and slaughters boggle my mind.  The intense cruelty in which these acts are planned then executed is something which I can logically perceive and yet not accept as behavior fitting the human race.  The amount of suffering now inflicted upon the wounded and the surviving family members may give these bastards some degree of glee, for a moment, but the outrage of those peripheral actors on the stage will hopefully bring about some form of positive change.  Since the human race will almost always take the stupid and easy route, it wouldn’t be a shock if the outrage turned to rage towards more innocents and the cycle continues.  The human race is very good at one thing:  never learning from the past mistakes of their forefathers and thus, history repeats.

Following this event, mournful as it is, there will be the quintessential vigils, the insipid gatherings with candles and holding hands, tears falling for those people lost yet never known.  The human race will hold hands, say their prayers, sing their songs.  When the tears have dried and the songs have lost their sound, they’ll go back to looking at their phones and being mean to each other on social media.  Long after the names are forgotten, the human race will just go back to being miserable to each other, rather than exsecting the cancer from society which is this underlying (and often unnecessary) anger and hatred.  It started building with the discontent of Generation Y back in the 90’s, with their music of despondency and now has come to fruition in the new millennium.  We have an entire generation of pent-up anger, possibly at the previous generation, possibly at nothing, now looking for a cause to give vent to their spleen.

These people think they have a cause.  The only cause they have is their own delusions.  And just think:  this is the generation that’ll be in power when we’re old and grey.  Oh great diving being(s), you might as well send the damned asteroid now.

When Good Intellectuals Go Bad

Recently I’ve been watching a number of my cohorts, who I do consider to be intellectuals, turn rapidly more rancid in their thinking and rhetoric.  The current geopolitical environment has polarized people to the level of utter stupidity and phantom chasing.

Not only do my friends no longer research the topic at hand, to deter the ‘false news’, bogus stories, hoaxes, myths, and outright lies that are out there, they seem to be actively seeking news items or stories to get themselves riled up.  I can say that I’m fairly proud of myself for NOT unfriending people in Facebook or unfollowing in other social media due to anyone’s particular views, especially during the past year when highly volatile topics seemed to crop up worst than weeds.

I’m thankful for the fact that my generation may have been the last generation to be taught in our school system the fine art of THINKING.  Yes, we were taught to question, to seek answers.  We were taught that the printed word often is a matter of perspective.  For that matter, so is the verbal word.  I have an analytical mind, highly clinical and gives the impression to most that I’m as cold as stone.  I take in the current data, look around for other points of view, search out the various variables which could lead down a path.  Once all available information has been gathered and processed by my overly used mind, I can finally make a determination for myself what is.  And I actually know the definition of what is is, Mr. Clinton.

I don’t typically involve myself in the politics of the human race, considering that I’m higher on the evolutionary ladder than humans, semi-evolved simians that they are.  I’ve been watching over the years the de-evolution of the human race.  Their politics reflect it.  When given a choice between what seems the most sensible and logical solution or one that’s completely fanciful and false, they’ll often make a bee-line straight to the latter, dismissing the former as hogwash at best, sheer sorcery at worst.

To the future of the world, I just have to advise that they should begin to be skeptical, be a bit cynical.  Not everything is based in fact and facts can be skewed to fit any argument.  Instead, seek the truth.  If there’s too big a discrepency between stories, odds are someone is trying to gain something.

One truth I’ve learned over the years is people always have an agenda and they want you on their side.

The Mad Race to the Living End

Yes, it’s another day like any other.  Another day when you basically want to slap the ever-loving crap out of everyone in your way.  That kind of day when you want to drive on and keep going no matter what’s in your path, or who.

I have those kind of days, pretty much hourly!

Often it seems to me that I haven’t got enough time for all the things which I want to get done and spend all that time doing things I need to get done.  There’s a world of difference there between the wants and needs.  As someone who seems to live outside of time, it gets a little overwhelming when the time factor hits me.  The overwhelming feeling of pressure often will stop all action completely so I want to do a number of things all at once but don’t get anything accomplished;  instead I sit with my brain spinning, trying to figure out what first, what next!

As for living outside of time, I’m unable to actually place events on a timeline.  I know that something happened in the past but I’m incapable of actually pinpointing a time within the vastness of linear time.  I can barely get it down to within a year.  There seems to be a lack of connection between the event and the date stamp.  I don’t quite know if this is down to the cPTSD or maybe some odd mystical doing which broke my connection long ago.

As I’ve dabbled so long in the spiritual arts, it could very well be that.  I don’t feel that connection to the now either.  Often I’m out of time, like a relic of some bygone era.  And yet my brain is forward thinking, always going towards the future with past values.  How to apply these values which make the human race more than they are to a future which is reshaping constantly, and if left to its own devices, create an abomination?  I look forward and I weep for what’s to come.

So on these days when the race becomes too much what to do?  I use music as my outlet often enough.  I let it flow through me, feeling the vibrations and using that to try to make some sense of my head.  I sometimes will contemplate a tree, just the majesty of it and wonder how it could exist for so long, just being a tree.  I try to set things down to a form of schedule for the things that need to be done, and in the spaces between, sneak in a little of the want to do’s.

At present (past and future), it’s about the only way I can keep myself from shutting down completely and running like mad from my very existence.

Observations on the British Driver

Seriously!  What the heck is wrong with British drivers?  Aside from the total disregard for anything which comes out of the rules of the road book, they all seem to have some form of depth perception problem, which is something coming from a person who doesn’t have any depth perception at all!  Let’s look at these one by one.

Turn signals as an option:  Yeah, oddly they’re not.  Yet, with all of the twisty roads and rotaries that are here, you’d think that they’d use them.  Guess what guys… they’re not a convenience.  Some people would actually like to know what the car ahead of them are going to do before they do it and make you palpatate.

I can turn wherever the hell I want:  Um, actually, you can’t.  There’s a reason why they don’t allow right or left turns in areas.  Maybe, just maybe, because the road layout doesn’t allow for it so oncoming traffic would have to swerge all the way to Hull to get around your ignorant ASS!

Going 20 miles under the speed limit is cool:  Get real, people.  There’s a reason why there’s a minimum speed limit.  If you car is too crappy to do an appropriate speed, or you’re too freaking scared of the traffic to drive on a road that does more than 20 miles an hour, do everyone a favor and stay home.  Some people DO know where they’re going and DO want to get there in a timely fashion.

Going 20 miles OVER the speed limit is cooler:  You won’t be thinking that when some random pedestrian decides to take a walk on the wild side and right in front of ya.  Actually, with the amount of people who never use crossings, I have no idea why they bother putting them in and just let the idiots play chicken in the streets.  More fleshy speed bumps for all.  But seriously, doing 40 in a 20 when there’s kids playing, who aren’t paying any attention to anything, is just asking for a whole lot of hurt.

Crossing 3 lanes of traffic, yeah, gotta get to that fish n chips shop:  I know the roads in Britain suck for signage but couldn’t you plan ahead?  Cutting across even 1 lane of traffic causes the drivers in that lane to blow their tops, but you just happily go on your way, regardless.

You could fit a semi-trailer in there:  Honestly, people, tighten up the line.  Going 5 miles an hour in heavy traffic is NO reason to leave a 5 car gap.  And if you’re switching into a lane, switch into the damn lane already!  What do you need?  A personal engraved invitation?  This is where the depth perception issue comes in.  Oh yeah, throw in passing a vehicle that’s parked.  They swing WAY OUT to get by it.  For heaven’s sake, I’ve only clipped a mirror once, and only once.  But I don’t need to be in another post code to pass a parked car.

Rant over.  Love, life and laughter to all.

A Bit of Inspiration for Ya

A million years ago when I was back in high school, I never really fit in with any of the typical groups.  Granted, I was in the High Honors which meant that all of my classes were accelerated.  Yes, I was a nerd.  I did have friends in most of the usual groups:  the jocks, the punks, etc.  But I was never a full fledged member of any of them.  I did manage to surround myself with keen people though and we sort of formed our own little group.  We were like the rejects of the school and found our own strength together.  Today these would be celebrated by Lady Gaga but back then, we were just the ones who didn’t fit into a box.

As I grew older, I started to get into my own.  I was a model for a time and moved in those socialite circles, although I was always fringe.  I was gay and involved in the community but never fit with the pretty boys, nor the muscle studs, and found myself accepted by the leather community in Chicago.  I’m always thankful to them for that and supportive of their causes as a result of their care and attention.  It seemed to me then, as it does to me now, that I’m still a person who doesn’t quite fit completely with any particular group or category.  I’m happy, in a way, for this.  I’m a natural chameleon who can change himself to suit the circumstances or environment if need be.  The downfall to this is that if I do that for too long, I lose perspective on who I actually am.

This did happen in my youth.  I tried to be so many things for so many different people that I lost sight of who I was.  I spent a long time recovering from that and to get back to basics of who I am.  Today I find myself once again trying to see if there’s a place for me in this world or even the gay community.

I consider myself unconventional in most regards, especially in my thought processes and line of thinking.  I’m not one party or another politically.  I’m not of any particular belief system or religion.  I’m not straight-acting, nor am I femme.  I’m not outwardly gay nor am I a banner waver.  I’m not keenly intellectual all the time, and not a raving lunatic when I suppose I should be.  I dress in dark colors, often topped with a long black coat (leather or wool).  My hair isn’t a modern style, it’s my own design and taste, complete with my eternal rat’s tail.  I have to wear dark glasses at all times when I’m in the light since my eyes are highly sensitive to light, giving people the impression that I’m either a Matrix worshipper or having delusions of Roy Orbison.  Suffering from cPTSD I have the habit of reacting when I should take a step back, but don’t always catch it in time.  I can go from senuous flirt to cold bitch in a millisecond.

So, in fact, I’m weird.  And I totally celebrate my weirdness.  I embrace it.  It’s my armor.  Though people may scoff or even shy away, it doesn’t matter to me.  I have my integrity and the love of myself.  I don’t particularly want to subscribe to anyone else’s point of view.  While I conform to the laws of the land, I won’t follow any laws of society that tell me that I have to invalidate my person.  And I’ll always be on the fringe, always just one foot in any place while the other is bridging the gap somewhere else.

So all you strange ones, all you weird ones;  the people who don’t quite fit the old, and the people who don’t know where you belong;  to you I say, you belong wherever you feel you should be.  If that’s alone and enjoying the day in the sun or with friends at a club, never compromise yourself to fit anyone’s view of what you should be.  Learn to love yourself for both your talents and your flaws.  Accept that there’s things about you that need work and get to it, even with another to lend a hand.  We all fall, we all scrape our knees.  We all make mistakes.  Being a flawed and unusual creature is what makes life so interesting.  And here’s a side note…. the higher powers put flaws in the recipe for a reason.  Diversity!