Gay Pride Month: On Being a Gay Man of that Certain Age

I’m looking forward to attaining the grand age of 50 in a few years time.  Currently I’m in the later years of 40 although I don’t look it.  Reaching 50 years of age is a milestone for anyone, I figure, but for a gay man to reach this fine age, it’s a testament to the life they’ve lead.  Oddly enough, you suddenly are chased by the younger crowd.  Either for your wisdom or your wallet, it’s a nice thing to being sought out by someone younger than yourself.  Of course, when you reach 50 years of age, there aren’t too many above you than below you in age, are there?

I’ve always seemed to get involved with older men when I was younger.  I think it was the maturity and wisdom that made me circulate with people older than me.  I always seemed to find people my own age or younger to be trite.  I never could relate to them.  Even now I have problems relating to my own age group when I do socialize.  It’s possible that I don’t find their problems to be in line with the issues that I pay attention to.

Naturally when you reach a certain age, your body and mind start falling apart, like a car reaching the end of its warranty.  Ever notice how something always breaks down the day after the warranty expires?  It’s possibly a conspiracy by the manufacturers that’s yet been unproven, but have no fear, there’s probably a conspiracy group for it!

So being in my 40’s is a lot better than my 30’s I can tell you.  Back in the day, when I hit 30 years old, I suddenly found myself in some sort of void, a twilight zone of oblivion.  All the M4M ads, whether in print or electronic, were looking for ‘under 30’ or ‘older gentlemen’.  I had no hope when I was in my 30’s.  Even the people in their 30’s were looking for older or younger!  When I was in my 30’s I was married to a deplorable man, but it was an open relationship so I could have done anything I wanted, had the opportunity presented itself.  Oddly, it didn’t stop my ex-partner sowing his seed far and wide.  But I’ve always had a problem with hooking up.  Now, young men hit me up on Grindr or Scruff or any of the other apps which I’m on, and it’s flattering.  If the conversation went anywhere past ‘sup’ or ‘you  ok?’, then I might have an interest.  If a person can’t manage to have even the slightest bit of conversation then I’m not interested.

Frankly I didn’t get to this ripe old age by being stupid in my hookups.  I will ask questions.  I will evaluate your answers.  There’s too many weird people out there.  I’m certainly not bringing home any little nightmare to roost.  I’ve had stalkers before.  I’ve gotten that vibe which told me to stay away.  But I’ve also connected with a few good people and had fun.  I’m extremely cautious when using hookup apps.  I may not get laid often, but at least I’m not dead, beat up or otherwise scarred.

Being a gay man of that certain age, I feel that it’s a good thing to impart my experiences and wisdom on the future generations, in the hopes that they won’t make the same mistakes or may avoid them based upon the history of someone else.  Gay history is not just about the movers and the shakers which appear in the magazines or interviews.  It’s about regular people who’ve lived their lives and gone forward, with all the trials and tribulations, and the joy and pleasures.  There’s been marvelous years in my life, and I treasure each one.  The rough times only serve to me as a warning, and not a ruler to measure the rest of my existence.

One shouldn’t let the past become a stopper for the future.  Use those troubled times to alert you to a possbile disaster, and keep on living that glorious life.