Lately I’ve been more angry than usual, and to be honest, I don’t have anything to get my knickers in a bind over. It just seems to me that everything now makes me see red, which isn’t quite like me. I’m usually aloof and distant from the general machinations of the human race. I find that I have a short fuse and the slightest provocation will set me off. Naturally those in my circle tend to be both in awe of the spectacular explosions they see and terrified by the sheer force of rage that emanates.
I’ve given this a good deal of thought, trying hard to come up with the source of my malcontent. The only conclusions that I’ve come to, so far, is that the overwhelming emotion of the whole of society is now starting to affect my empathic nature. I seem to be absorbing all this negativity into me, and not quite sure what to do with it. The nastier the world gets, the more agitated I get. I’ve given up on the news and social media, trying to stem the effects, but to no avail.
I’m sure I’ve mentioned in my posts that I’m an empath, both a receiver and transmitter. Since the death of my mother, which was near on ten years ago, the shields that once contained my ability have dissipated completely. So I’m left pretty raw and exposed. How fitting for this blog, huh?
Previously, because I knew how my own emotions would affect those around me, I kept a sort of shield up, containing whatever emotions I had at the time. Additionally, I learned to be logical in my thinking, holding back the emotive nature until it needed to be dealt with. I can’t say I pent-up my emotions, but I certainly never displayed them for all to see. As a result I’ve often be thought of as cold, calculating and to most magical people, I was a blank spot. Now, you can pretty much feel the emotions radiating from me!
My attempts at isolating myself from the flow of negativity pervading the world now have come to nothing. I keep getting buffeted by waves of rage, most of which aren’t internal. Though I’m battered by these forces, I try to change it over to something more positive. My chances of meditating or cleansing are pretty slim now. And I adamantly refuse to allow this current environment dictate how my nature is.
I search every day for the minor or insignificant glimmer of hope or positivity which doesn’t seem all the minor or insignificant to me.
And I wonder how many other empaths are being smacked about by the human race.
I keep ya guessing