Which Critter Are Ya?

In the gay community, we seem to like to pigeon hole each other.  No, not that, ya dirty mind!  We do like to place ourselves into little groups of people, some of which won’t have anything to do with others.

All of my gay life I’ve never quite fit one category or the other.  Saying this, I’ve never fit any category even out of the gay community.  So my partner and I actually went through the list of types of gay men, and here’s what we found:

Twink:  thin and smooth, often young.  Nope.

Twunk:  a muscled twink.  Nope (was, not is)

Bears:  larger, hairy often with facial hair.  Nope

Jocks:  muscular, athletic.  Nope, unless you consider sitting on my ass athletic

Circuit Boys:  muscular, waxed, preened.  Nope, nope and nope.

Gay-listers:  toned by trainers, preened by stylists.  Nope, I don’t have the time.

Show Queens:  an affinity for the arts.  Nope, I can’t sing, don’t ask me.

Art Fags:  thin, tattoo and too cool for school.  Nope, I’m actually cooler.

Drag Queens:  Do I need to define this?  Nope

Otter:  toned and hairy.  Nope

Chub:  larger than life (with a personality to go with it)  Nope

Chub Chaser:  chases chubs.  Nope

Cub:  a mini-bear (younger).  Nope

Pup:  inexperienced and naive, young, eager.  Nope, none of that.

Gipster:  gay hipster.  Nope, if I’m too cool for Art Fags, I’m too cool for this.

Daddy:  older gay man, well off, likes younger.  Nope, but rapidly approaching.

Muscle Daddy:  above with muscles.  Nope

Daddy Chaser:  the compliment to daddys above.  Nope

Wolf:  semi-hairy, mysterious, hot sex.  Nope, almost but not quite.

So there we have it.  I’m unique in my own way, apparently.  I suppose since I don’t fit into these particular little cliques, I must be even more diverse than the community could imagine.

Or maybe I’m just too twisted for color television.