My dearest husband, Michael, had never experienced such culinary pleasure until he came to the US to visit me the first time and we went to the International House of Pancakes, IHOP.  Nor, do I think, had he ever seen such quantities of food shoved down the gullet of a society grown fat on their own importance.

I remember his first time at IHOP with me, and how he remarked, “I can respect a place that has dessert for breakfast” as he was referring to the stuffed French toast that I was polishing off.  I did have to teach him a little trick about eating in America vs eating in Britain.  Don’t finish it all, you’ll lose.

I told him that it’s best to just eat until you feel full.  You can always take it with you.  In Britain, the concept of a doggy bag is completely foreign.  And the portions in the US are substantially bigger, I think.  The first few days he was trying to finish his plate, like a good man that he was, and that just lead to indigestion.  So, once he started eating until he didn’t feel he needed to eat anymore, he felt much better.

Today was my visit to IHOP on my Florida excursion.  I went early on, to avoid the morning rush.  I ordered my usual, and of course, stuffed French toast.  But, and I know this is depressingly common, it didn’t have the same flavorful taste that it did when my husband was sitting on the other side of the table from me.  I would look up, or look over, or look across, and he’s simply not there.  Again, it dawned on me that he’s not here.

So many things which we used to do now just seems so common and mundane to me without him here.  The simple act of dining out, which most people take for granted, as they have company with them, is base to me.  I have no one and even when I go out with friends, as much as I enjoy their company, it doesn’t compare, and doesn’t give me the same fulfilled feeling that I had when I was with Michael.

Isn’t it odd that the little details matter the most, and the big picture gets lost in the jumble of every day blessings?

Categories: General

Tagged as: Death Husband Wildcat

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