It’s almost 8 months on from the dreaded morning which destroyed my beautiful life. 8 months of surviving without my beloved Michael. 8 months of sorting out our lives, closing and opening accounts, and doing things which I’d never had to do before.
It’s been 7 months of ripping DVD’s for the Plex server; creating the media server that my Michael always wanted and I never got up off my ass to do when he was here.
It’s been 6 months since I stopped crying every moment of every day. 6 months being able to go out again in public without being the weeping widower. 6 months since my return to the Manchester Leather Men events.
It’s been 5 months since I first looked at the probate paperwork and the monumental task of inheritance tax. Daunting for me since I’m not a wizard with numbers nor understanding the legalese of the documents put before me. 5 months and the front room still looks like a bomb hit it, with things that need to go upstairs and bags of clothing that need to be donated, again. 5 months and he wasn’t here for me to celebrate his birthday.
It’s been 4 months since my first birthday without my beloved, a day I don’t celebrate but for him. 4 months and a quarter of a year from the night of sadness, the morning of mourning. 4 months and the heat of summer couldn’t warm my soul enough to my liking.
It’s been 3 months since I’ve been able to breathe properly. 3 months and sinus surgery which left me as a mouth-breather for weeks on end. Finally, the healing began, the blood stopped filling my nose and I could breath once more. I spent two weeks working from home during my recovery.
It’s been 2 months since I turned in the probate and inheritance tax forms, got the all clear and could turn them in to the mortgage company. 2 months and negotiations finally allowed me to clear my husband’s debts.
It’s been 1 month since the final pieces fell into place. 1 month and the bank accounts are closed, his debts repaid, the car is owned and now it’s a matter of day to day living, as best I can.
8 months, three quarters of a year now gone without my beautiful man, my husband. Every day I do what needs to be done. I take care of our furry babies, I take care of the house. I work out and eat right and take care of myself as he would want me to. I go out once in a while, watching the spectacle of life.
And now…
Winter is coming.
Categories: General
wildcatleeds
I keep ya guessing
WildcatLeeds 